Build and Nurture Relationships

In order to build and maintain family generational wealth, each family member in each generation will do best by learning about existing family and support relationships as well as building newer, more relevant ones to move the family forward.

As the first stanzas from the old Joan Biaz song indicate: “No man is an island, no man stands alone”.

If you surround yourself with people and relationships that move you and your family forward in wealth wisdom and strategies you may be more successful. If you can surround your family with people who can show them different ways of looking at and doing things your family members will learn more options of dealing with life and opportunities. If Robert Kiyosaki had never had a ‘rich Dad’ – would he have learned to take advantage of the same opportunities?

Mark Haynes Daniell, in Strategy for the Wealthy Family, devotes multiple chapters to the relationships the family has and needs. He calls it the family eco-system.

He thinks each wealthy family needs a family guided center in the middle of the circle, with an inner ring of trusted advisers to consult with on sensitive issues, as well as a cadre of professionals like accountants and lawyers to assist with the family and it’s wealth management. In addition, he indicates that some families have preferred institutions, such as schools, associations, clubs or charities with which to establish legacy dealings.

His circle starts with YOU, then extends to FAMILY, then to INNER CIRCLE, then to PROFESSIONALS, then to INSTITUTIONS.


Getting familiar with your own history with wealth, family roles and expectations, and family history can help you better understand why you do the things you do and where you want to go. If your family already has wealth and has an infrastructure in place to deal with it, then get to know what the infrastructure is, learn who the key players are and what other roles for family and non-family members exist. Think about what you want in relationship to these things.


Once you marry, understanding your spouse’s history with money, his/her money values and goals and family history can be helpful in developing a consolidated method to use with your children.

If you have children, establish open communication with them on the family, it’s history, its values and goals. Show the kids where your money comes from, how it is earned and spent, let them start to participate in making some of the family decisions. Share with them any previously developed family roles. Start family meetings with your nuclear family and participate in any held by your extended family – explaining the purpose and process to your children.

Be open to continuing to learn from your parents and to learning from and teaching other members of your extended family.

Your Inner Circle of advisors

As you work with various professionals, such as real estate agents, lawyers, accountants, bankers, financial advisors, spiritual advisers, and close friends and work associates, be aware of relationships that are fruitful and nourish those into long lasting trusted associations which you can use as your inner circle of advisors. Get to know any of the people currently in your extended family’s inner circle. Look for areas with your extended family where your own inner circle members would be beneficial.


At some point in your life, you will need one or more of the following types of advisors: lawyers, accountants, physicians, mentors, insurers, financial advisors, money managers, business advisors, spiritual advisors, trustees, private bankers, family business chairpersons, heads of family office and close friends as advisors.

Keep your ears open for information on professionals you may want or need to use . Do some research and talk to an inner circle advisor about how to work with the various types of support personnel, learn about what they typically charge and do (or should do). This will help prepare you to assume roles where you need to work with these advisors – whether for your own self made fortune or to manage your family wealth.


Develop or renew relationships your extended family has with various institutions such as Alma maters, professional societies and educational institutions. This will extend your network of relationships to allow you to help and be helped by these people. Don’t forget to stay in touch with clients, your peers, your neighbors, ex school mates and etc. If you have ties to the military, sporting clubs, a church or other associations, build relationships within them as well.

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